On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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