I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Text me some of your sweat
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