Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize