Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I cut my penus on the lid.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
we're so committed to being not committed
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