I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
