too bad you live with your parents still
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
