respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
