i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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