She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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