just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
