did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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