i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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