Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
