the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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