Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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