I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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