He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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