Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
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Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
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How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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