Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
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