this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize