you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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