Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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