I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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