u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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