Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's Friday. Sex?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
