just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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