your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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