from now on my penis is your penis
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
