so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
