the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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