I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
