OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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