i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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