Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize