so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
