What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
