covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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