I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize