so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
