and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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