why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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