that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize