Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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