The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
