I faked an abortion last night.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
