South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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