I need help removing her.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think people are normalizing furries
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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