Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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