it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
