I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The struggles of a small town man whore
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
