drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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