i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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