We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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