Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
