She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
