It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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