I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
