Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
